Diva's Weekly Principle:

"Attitude is Everything". ~2011 Diva Principle

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Avatar - My Reviews

I had a great real day off yesterday. Meaning no VZW or YWCA and I truly enjoyed the comforts of my cozy home especially watching the snow come down! Later on that evening I was invited to go to movies and you know what? I was even asked to select the movie! WOW, for me that doesnt happen too often and it felt damn good. I've been wanting to see Avatar but I've been either too busy with work, holidays or just too damn tired. But, snow and all; I made it anywho. lol.

I'm kinda big on sci-fi TV, but what prombt me to want to go and see the movie was the fact of listening to James Cameron on Tavis Smiley. He made the most profound statement that hit me right at the gut. He said, "he wanted to create the best movie ever and the only way he could have done this was by; "surrounding himself around the best". I thought, wow! Titantic was awesome and if he wanted to top that then this movie must be off the chart!

I personally believe that anyone who knows it takes the best of other people to make shit happen then they are tuned into unique creation! Anyone who wants to improve themselves and/or others and only wants to be surrounded by good quality, intelligent, fun loving, positive energy and creative ideas are certainly headed for the best!

So with all that said, Avatar not only had the perfect movie name, the perfect planet name, the perfect cast, the perfect quality, the perfect technology, the movie itself was purrfect! I'm not going to tell the movie since some may have not seen yet, but I will say; "its a must see". The best part was 3D!

James Cameron you are a genius!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Walking on Water

Sitting here watching the Dallas vs Redskins game. My home is strickly Dallas Fans by way of Washington Redskns. My dad and brother are both die hard Redskins lovers! We lived in DC all my childhood lyfe, so need I say more? Anyway,

I was thinking today about times when we need to just launch out and walk on water! Yep, launch into the deep deep sea and either sink or sail! lol. What the hell, what do we have to loose?

When I hear this phrase "launch into the deep", I always think about Jesus in how he was out in the middle of the sea and told Peter to come. Peter took his faith and jumped out the boat and started walking out into the deep. Wow! Can you imagine how he must have felt, knowingly believing and walking out his faith walk. He only failed when he began to doubt himself and doubt Jesus. He only failed when he began to look at the other folks in the boat and look at the storm. That to me is a lesson all of itself. Keep your eye on Jesus, especially when you don't know the outcome and have no control.

I think if we don't launch out, we end up sinking sand anyhow. So, why not launch? I feel if your going to sink, you mize well sink trying.

This made me think about my major career move I made all most 3 years ago. I left a comfortable sitting desk job still with Verizon Wireless and decided I wanted to do something completely out of my comfort zone. That decision was a tough one because I was launching myself out into the deep with absolutely no experience, no skills and very little knowledge and confidence.

Hey, 3 years later that decision became the best one I could have ever made. Three years later, I'm sailing on water and landed top 3rd in my district in sales.

It's hard work but it's rewarding. Yessir, I'm #3. But not only do I have the status quo in my district but I tripled my salary and gained experience, knowledge, confidence, respect, motivation and love for myself! I can't even imagaine me still sitting behind a desk being bored.

Sometimes, we just have to launch and if we sink; oh well.

I'm here again, I need to make a major decision and this one is hard but I know I can't just sit here and pretend and let another year pass me by. I wrote down all the things that kept me there and all the reasons why I need to launch. I know, if I don't launch; I'm going to sink in sand another year.

So, I'm launching. How about you? What's keeping you from launching?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dear Stella

Ok. First, I just got to say this before I even write what I found. Sometimes God just freaks me out!!!!

I called myself being cute but sincere and honest writing my Dear Lover letter. But one thing again, that I like about God is that he knows your heart. God knows the deepest things of the heart.

Personally, I know if we would spend time with God and just allow him to rest within us by meditating on him, praying, giving him some tyme or simply try breathing techniques, he will surely show up!

So with that said, I was on the internet and found this letter. I have no idea how I even ran across this, so yeah, all credit goes to Christ. This letter, I truly believe is his replay back to me. And, yeah, it freaked me out! Here's his reply:

Dear Stella,

The Heart Goes On. You have such a big, kind, warm heart. STOP!
My child, slow down and know that I am in control. STOP hurrying around and expecting everything to be done right now! My ways and thoughts are higher than yours (Isaiah55:7).

You may not understand for the most part why you must wait but the things…the dreams, visions and destiny I have for you are precious. Like aged wine they take time to become full bodied. Some will come to fullness before others; but, it is as it should be, for they in turn are building blocks for the next dream or vision. To not have the proper time or process will make your house like a house of cards on shifting sands. I know you do not want it to be that way. So, be patient with yourself as I am with you.

Be patient, STOP and slow down. There is something bigger and better for you and I got it for you in due season.

Lover of My Soul

Dear Lover of My Soul,

I haven't written to you in awhile, and I apologize. I really been neglecting you and it hasn't been on purpose, it just seems like I get soo busy and caught up. I know, right, that's no excuse. lol. One reason I love you so much is that you have such a big understanding heart! Really, these last 2 months seems like the days are getting shorter and shorter.

I'm doing fantastic, but I know you already know that much and you surely seem to get around town quite a bit here lately. I've been talking to some folks, telling them all about you and guess what? They said, you stopped by and shared your love! That's another thing I love about you, You freely give of yourself to anyone. I think that's what I love the most. Anyway,

It's getting close to Christmas Tyme and I'm feeling especially good! You know, this is my favorite time of the year. Have I told you lately that you make my heart tingle inside? Just the very thought and mention of your name. Yep, you sure do!

Hey Lover, one thing I can always say about you that holds true is that: you never hold grudges or kick me to the curb when you don't hear from me in a while. You're faithful and forgiving. You seem to always keep me by your side no matter what.

Dear Lover of my Soul, tonight as we grow near the day you were born; I just wanted to tell you how happy and blest you have made me. I love you sooo much and it wouldn't be fair of me to not express it openly!

And, Lover; I promise the next time, I will write you sooner! I promise.

Happy Birthday and MERRY CHRISTMAS from my heart to yours!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Created to Thrive

Early today at work, I was making preparation in my mind on what topic I wanted to speak about with the students at WPHS. As I was gathering up my thoughts and the direction I wanted to tread, I thought about 2009 & upcoming 2010.

One thing I love to think about and reflect upon is: Where Am I now and how far have I come? I never want to be found doing the same damn thing 1 year from now or even 6months from now. Honestly, I Never want to become complacent or stagnant. It's not a good place. Anyway,

In my mind, I thought about many situations, occurances, blessings, hurdles, etc. Then I just got right down to the heart of it all and that is: THRIVING. Yep, thriving to be. Thriving to be all that I am meant to be. Everything's not perfect and never will be but I got enough substance in me to keep on keeping on!

You see people, we weren't just created to survive. There's more to us then mire survival. We were created to THRIVE!

Tonight, I'm doing the STOMP DANCE. You heard me right, I'm stomping over the devil's head and I'm screaming a big huge shout out letting the devil know:

I am + You Are = We are created to THRIVE!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009



It's my favorite time of year;

I'm so happy that you're here!

So meet me by the mistletoe;

I'm never gonna let you go!

Trick or treat? You're so sweet!

You could make my life complete!

Sugar? Spice? Naughty or nice?

Deep dark eyes as cold as ice!

When I look into your eyes,

I see the stars. I see the sunrise.

Kiss me touch me and

Whisper sweet things in my ear;

I've been a really good gurl and

I've waited all year.

All I want for Christmas is you,

so hurry down my chimney tonight!

Possibilities amongst the Impossible

Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace, love and goodwill to all. But with all the stress and commotion of the season, many of us end up feeling more like Mr. Scrooge than Santa Claus. Just something I found and what to share:

So, what is Christmas spirit? Does it involve presents, Christmas trees, mistletoe, decorations, Santa Claus or the birth of a sacred baby? Or, is it a feeling that is present in our hearts and souls at this time of the year? After all, not everyone celebrates Christmas. But, in many different cultures midwinter is a sacred time of the year.

I think that the true meaning of Christmas is about possibility in the midst of the impossible. It is not the kind of possibility that comes from a confidence in our own skill, knowledge, ability, or a positive mental attitude. It is possibility that comes solely from the fact that God is God, and that he is the kind of God who comes into our own human existence to reveal himself and call us to himself. It is a possibility that is so surprising at its birth that we are caught unaware, and so are left with wonder at the simplicity of its expression in this infant child. It is a possibility that is easily symbolized by a helpless infant that has nothing of its own by which to survive; yet an infant that, because he is Immanuel, God with us, will forever change the world and all humanity. It is this same God who has promised to be with us, with his people, with the church and with us individually, as we live as his people in the world.

It is not just hope, as if it were wishful thinking that things will get better when they cannot. It is hope incarnated into flesh, a hope that can be held in a mother’s arms, a hope that expresses a reality that will live beyond endings and death itself. It is the hope, the possibility, that springs from impossible and insignificant beginnings, infused with the power of God through the Holy Spirit, that will blossom into a light to the nations.

It is this possibility, this God, that we celebrate at Christmas. And we do so with a confidence born, not of our own desire for it to be so, but from the birth of a child over 2,000 years ago, a child who was the Son of God!

I personally, don't think it matters if that feeling is called Christmas spirit, holiday spirit, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa spirit, Yule spirit or simply midwinter spirit. This is a special time of the year for reflections on peace, love, harmony and good will to humankind. Too bad we can't keep that spirit alive the rest of the year. What a wonderful world this would be.

Jesus is the Reason!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

All I want 4 Christmas is...


An Open letter:

Dear Mr. Fly Guy,

You know how you almost swept me off my feet? Over the past few months, you've been taking me out on a few dates. And to that note, you been a real fly ass gentleman.

Yep, for me, I finally got nerve up to begin dating. You been after me for a long time and I told you back then that I had a dude and was quite content.

Mr. Fly guy, It's been years since I even had a date and I really did forget how speical I really was and how much fun dating could be. Damn, I let soo much time pass me by.

And, let me whispher this in your ear, so far, its been a real challenge dating and finding a honest guy! Dont get me wrong, I've been having and enjoying it all but I knew you were too damn good to be true! YOU LIED TO ME and you didn't have to because you should have allowed me to make my mind up whether I wanted to continue or stop. Instead, you acted just like the typical male lying cheating whore!

I have always been a woman who dated one guy at a time and, you helped me understand
that dating and f@@king are two different things. You see, Stella always thought, if you slept with the guy; then you are dating and in a relationship with the guy. You helped me see, that's not always true.

So, I'm leaning back and just looking over what dating means to me. And as I prepare myself for 2010; I want to be one step ahead of the game. For me, dating means enjoying someones company enough that I am ready to begin seeing that person exclusive. It means developing a relationship while spending quality time with him, hanging out with his friends, being around his family. It's learning his ways and adjusting so that we both can agree to disagree. For me, it means being there for him, listening, supporting, encourageing, stroking and helping him and by all means exploring his and mine sexual pleasures that takes our relationship to a HEALTHY growing level.

Dating is a REAL challenge but so far i'm having fun, even though, I've had the worse luck with men wanting to fxxk me, cheat on me, dump me, date me and still say I wanna see you even though I have another woman. WTF. I don't deserve second. Some women like it. I'm not one.

I feel I'm a good woman, I'm honest, trustworthy, compassionate, intelligent, professional, gentle, sexy and good in bed plus I can maintain my own. So, shouldn't I have a man that is down for me?

I know some women are happy getting any attention. Some women would rather have any attention because they don't get any from any where else. If that makes sense.

My question is, What is it about me that keeps attracting UNAVAILABLE lying cheating ass men? Do I have: hey, f@@k me - lie & Cheat on me written over my forehead? I just don't get it any more with men. I think they are the whores. So what should I do? Do I just give up and throw in the towel on men or keep dating with options until Mr. Fly Guy comes?

Defintely, I think Imma wash my face of the ink stamp! lol

There are some DECENT AVAILABLE FLYS GUYS out there, right? Right?

For me, All I want this Christmas, Is a fly guy under my tree. One who is down just for me. Is that asking for too much?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted to wish all my readers a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Here's a thought for you:

We all have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. At times we take a lot for granted and never truly view our lives as a blessing.

So today, I ask you to; Think about 3 things that has happened especially good for you this year and write them down! If you can't think of three then at least one. We all have one thing for sure to be thankful for and that is: "WE ARE ALIVE" and that within itself is a blessing!!

Have a blest Thanksgiving.

Offense vs Defense

Where is the balance? Because your nice and somewhat submissive, does that mean you become a doormat? When people thinkingly or unthinkingly throw those arrows and those gauntlets are cast down on you; and lets not forget about those damn challenges. Yep those challenges that hit us mentally, physically, spirtually and emotionally; how does one deal with it all?

I guess it's just not what you say anymore, it's more of what you don't say. Ummm. And I guess it's not always what you do, it's what you don't do that really makes the difference. Well, seems like Victory or defeat all plays apart in those two factors.

How do you keep a balance and not lose your cool? It all seems so funny, you hear people say all the time "I don't get mad, I get even" or "KARMA back at cha". I don't know, seems when people say hurtful things or delibertly do hurtful things, its hard not to maintain.

So, how does one win without losing your self-respect, your cool, and even your values?

And I guess the final question I would ask is, how does one find the courage to stand alone if need to and put on their game face to deal?

For me, it's just been a long rollercoaster ride. Damn, I swear; Up - down and around some pretty sharp ass curves. Have you been there? Lyfe can be one hell of a roller coaster, if you let it.

I'm learning to get off the feaking ride and stay off. I'm learning, in order to stay ahead of the game I got to play oOFFENSE and NO MORE DEFENSIVE TACKLE. Haha, that's been a lyfe changing experience for me. But, I'm there. The whole experience is learning to control the emotions and gain a settled heart and a made up mind!

In the midst of the challenges, obstacles, arrows, punches, etc.; try and develop a settled heart, a made up mind and one thing for sure be rooted and grounded with wisdom & knowledge. It really does go a long way.

There's the balance right there:
1.Settled heart
2.Made up Mind
3.Wisdom and Knowledge

Monday, November 16, 2009

The ME that I AM

Just a lil something to think about, as you journey to become who you are. Understand one thing, love isn't found in screwing.

What I like is who I AM.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Muzzle da Bitch

Bitten by the Office Bitch. A survey showed that 1 in 4 workers is willing to sink their fangs into you just to get ahead. Watch out and don't get bitten by:
THE STEALER: Sticky fingers who swipes your ideas and passes them off as their own.
THE SQUEALER: Sneaks in and runs straight to the boss' office and tells everything.
THE SPOTLIGHT: Goes out of their way to ask you questions that they know the answer to just to attempt to make you look bad or stupid in front of higher ups.
THE WEASEL: Guess who's spreading the rumors about your "SUCKY" job performance?
THE FORGETTER: Meant to tell you the assignment was due yesterday, but oopsie!

Don't get bitten by them. Shut em down and Muzzle that bitch!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Market for Niggas

A friend sent me this video and asked my opinion. I told him, I'm going to blog about it and see what others think. I'm not too sure how I feel about this message. Personally, I have mixed feelings.

Here's my mixed feelings:
1. I think it is a good thing that someone can stop selling drugs, change their lyfestyle and begin writing, rapping about their lyfe and tymes. And,
2. I think it is good that this stardom gets a person out of ghetto/hood to Hollywood (a better way of living). But my mixed thoughts are this:

1. Exploiting women to make money a
2. taking riches to promote guns, drugs and continued lyfestyle of thug lyfe.
3. High prices for African American CD's, clothing, DVD's etc.

I guess to each's own. Not all black rappers, poets, musicians etc are in the "nigga Market". But, we do have many selling their soul.

What do you think about the message? I just have mixed feelings.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Stella Award

I been contemplating posting this and actually trying not to acknowledge somethings. Up until this moment, I really only been having some fun with the name "STELLA". Now, I'm convinced to make her name and title an AWARD. Yep, been tossing this back and forth in my mind and I'm ready to take the title to another LEVEL.

Let me first explain where the name derived from and how I took its title. I'm only sharing this story as an open book because I need to explain why and how the STELLA AWARD was established.

Of course, it was from the movie. It took root with me about 4 1/2 years ago. I met a man, and yes he was a little younger than I.

You see, back then when I met him; I was a woman who shut herself down. I mean heart set on double lock and key hid in safe! lol. Before he came along; I closed myself up and went on lets just say many years of celibacy. Many years.

Don't get me wrong. I was very happy and content being single. I wasn't even thinking about having a man in my lyfe. That was the furthest thing on my mind. My friday nites every friday consisted of Friday Nite Prayer. I taught sunday school, faithful doing community outreach and loved attending Church. I dressed just like an old church lady, Never showed the knees and wasn't concerned about sex. It's amazing how a little flirtation, flattery and attention changes a woman. I mean, This brother was all in one and he had me hooked. He started making jokes about the movie Stella and the ending. This is where the name derived.

With that said, this award will have nothing to do with how many men you can put on the bench, how many d$&ks you suck or how good you are in bed.

It has everything to do with beginning to function as a beautiful wonderful women who is learning how to feel love, respect, honor and show dignity for herself. It has everything to do with feeling inspired, empowered, and motivated. It has everything to do with believing in yourself and knowing you are marvelously created with a purpose. It has everything to do with accomplishing goals, plans and making your dreams come true. It has everything to do with knowing that if you never meet your Winston or if you have to let your Winston go, you are still wonderfully and beautifully made. This award has everything to do with, women/men/people who have overcome obstacles and said within themselves LYFE HAS MORE TO OFFER then laying down accepting death.

So with that said again, I am going to award people personally through my blog as well as in person The STELLA Award.

The criteria is very simple but you got to be ready to move from victim to victor to healing:

If you know anyone who is rebuilding their lives and on a journey to getting themselves together, would you please send me their name and a brief bio. I will check into their stats and give them the props and recognition so eloquently due them.

As for me, I think this is a great opportunity to show love to my peeps and help encourage, empower, build & rebuild! I hope and pray other women/men step forward and begin the journey to a road less travelled.

Please forward their names to Rhondawest2008@gmail.com

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A KEPT Woman

I am a 'kept ' woman

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,

But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)

There were times when I thought I could go no longer,

But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)

At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,

But the LORD kept my mouth shut. (Psa. 13)

Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,

But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc. (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.

When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!

I'm blessed to be 'kept '

I'm "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God.

Are you a 'kept ' woman?

Da Original O.G. with INTEGRITY


Most definintely, positively - respectably - hard earned winner! Isn't he the most cutest man ever...well almost the cutest!

I tell you what, he received this award with the utmost humble spirit ever! Back in da day he was the orginial the most increbible OG and I most add he STILL IS. Age anit got nuttin on him! lol

But he put it out there ya'll, we can't sit around letting people own us. OWN UP your own.

Here is his acceptance speech:

West Coast pioneer and Gangsta Rap icon Ice Cube received a standing ovation as a video montage preceded his receipt of the BET "I Am Hip-Hop" Lifetime Achievement Award. In his acceptance, Cube challenged his peers to create art with integrity, and not for sale to the highest bidder.

"We gotta do what we feel. We can't be slave to video programmer, radio programmers, or A&Rs. We gotta be slave to our own creative minds," Cube urged. "To all the older rappers, keep doing what you doing. Don't let the industry push you out. As long as you got a tongue, u ain't too old to rap. BET I hope you give out two of these, because I have a whole 'nother life of work ahead of me."

Very humble wise guy! I think I fell head over heels :)

"REGIS MARTIN" this one is for you!! IceCube, He went from da hood to Hollywood! And, so can you...believe dat

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Serena Outburst

She's more than just tennis!

You see this all the tyme, but when it's a white celeb never do you see an OUTBURST! And the sad part is; she's not nude. She's loving her beautiful body and allowing the world to notice. I wonder why the outburst?

Here's the article I just read:

This month, "The Body Issue" will hit shelves with a naked Serena Williams gracing the cover. Williams is one of six athletes featured on six covers. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard and MMA fighter Gina Carano are among the athletes that also join Williams in having their own covers.

"The issue honors athletes of diverse shapes, sizes, genders and races within the boundaries of taste and frontiers of creativity upon which ESPN The Magazine and ESPN have built their reputations," ESPN magazine said in a press release. "It is a testament to the work the athletes do, the effort they exert and the price they sometimes pay in reliance on their most important asset – their bodies."

Because of a recent outburst in which she threatened a line judge, Williams may be banned from at least one Grand Slam tournament. According to published reports, Williams told the judge, "You don't know me. You better be right. I swear to God I'm going to take this ball and shove it down your throat."Given that a ball going down your throat might actually kill you, the judge felt that Serena had threatened her life. Then again, Serena's from Compton, a town that has become famous for finding creative ways to kill people. Serena does not, however, need to take "the hood" with her all the way to Australia.

To make matters more interesting, Serena recently got naked for the cover of ESPN magazine, certifying her status as an iconic and thought-provoking figure for the early 21st century. These two events, plus the fact that she just happens to be one of the most dominant female tennis players in history, makes her the kind of woman we'll all be talking about for the next 100 years. Our great-grandkids won't be talking much about the boring apolitical figure called Michael Jordan. We'll congratulate Tiger Woods for being the first incredibly rich black man to consistently beat the crap out of the arrogant guys at the country club. Serena Williams' name, though, will come up in classes on feminist theory, history and sociology. Like Muhammad Ali, Serena is becoming bigger than her sport, and my greatest hope is that her ability to transcend tennis is guided by a desire to serve all humanity, and not just herself.

Her nude body on the cover of ESPN is her way of yelling to the world that she is more than a tennis player. I agree that she is. What do you think about it?

Monday, October 19, 2009

SUM Facts of Lyfe

The greatest story every told will be about your lyfe. What would you like others to read, see or say about you? Decide and then follow your script. You are the main character, so get busy!

Tomorrow is not promised, therefore, squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of today.

Lyfe is what you make it. Others can only add to what you have prepared.

You get what you give; therefore, give LOVE and PLENTY of it.

Lyfe is not a juggling act. It is to be carefuly balanced and carried with grace.
^unknown authors

Single - Sassy & Satisfied

I'm so glad God has a sense of humor! Man, I tell you; there are days when I just wanna throw up my hand to God and say I quit. Today was one of those days and as I said those words, three words were thrown back at me. SINGLE - SASSY & SATISFIED.

As I thought about those words. I said to myself, yeah I'm single and most defintely sassy but satisfied, hahaa I don't think so. Then I thought over a few things and looked over my lyfe and I am truly satisfied!

All my needs are met, well, almost all of them. lol. Just missing that, bedtime "me love you long time thing". But, besides that, I most say I am truly happy.

And You know, lyfe really does begin with you and living lyfe on purpose. And Our purpose is to simply learn of our gifts/talents and bring them to the table to be a blessing to the world. Real Simple!

I'm walking in purpose step by step and again I error but I got a focused direction. You know people, the more I think about it, there is really no greater satisfaction or sense of joy and peace than to lay your head at the end of the day knowing that you completed the task at hand and were used to help someone or add something to someone's lyfe.

I truly believe that people are unhappy because they are not doing what they were created to do. Somewhere along the path, they didn't figure out how to find their purpose and they are grasping for lyfe thinking that happiness is found within someone else.

STOP and LISTEN! Happiness is not and never will be found in someone else. It begins and ends with you!

True Happiness begins with living a lyfe of purpose and I'm so glad tonight I'm satisfied being me.


Sunday, October 11, 2009


Rise & Shine:
I recently adopted the pattern of:
"What you do daily becomes habit and those habits shape your future".

I talked a while back ago about being in a different season of lyfe. Change is difficult at tymes, but I finally (after months) adapted to this NEW season.

I dropped a few pounds (trust me, didn't try or want to), just seems that this different season shedded some weight off. I'm not sure if I really like this NEW SIZE, but I'm "ROCKING IT". This BOD is all I have and I gotta love it. lol

As I thought about this, I decided to take it up a notch (bam over achiever, that's me) and start a spiritual daily workout.

Here's just a few things that I always done daily but I never really incorporated into oneness.

Here we go:

1. Start each morning with prayer.
2. Tune your body, mind & spirit into what you want to accomblish for the day
3. Eat a GOOD breakfast
4. Beware of any/all negative energy surrounding you
5. Stay focused, many things can distract you
Tune in and stay focused.
Tune in and stay focused.
6. Drink liquids (you know you need water, but personally im a HATER!!)
7. Pray and affirm those things you focused in on for the day
8. Have fun and Relax (enjoy your career, hobby, education, etc)
9. Tune in and stay focused.
Tune in and stay focused.
tune in and stay focused.
10. Listen to uplifting music.
11. Read relaxing GOOD books
12. Have fun and Relax
Tune in and stay focused.
Tune in and stay focused.
13. Enjoy your quiet evenings.
14. Enjoy and celebrate people.
15. Hang out with people who celebrate you.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Vampire BEGONE

Don't Feed The Spiritual Vampire.

Is it true? Hell yeah!

We all have one. That person who drains our energy. That person we least look forward to speaking with on a daily basis. Stop feeding them. Don't enable the negativity by participating in the talk. If you allow this person to drag on about everything wrong in their life, those things gain power, they continue to experience them, and that person's power to suck all the happiness out of a moment will just increase.

And Who wants that??

Aside from reminders to be careful about the influences we allow into our inner circle, what are we doing to prevent this vampire from sucking out our happy lyfe?

I thought about, Why not begin by reshaping my thoughts and patterns? Why not, begin with ourselves? Why not begin creating what it is you want to attract?
'Be what you want to attract. It really is that simple

I've been practicing lately yoga and one of the meditation techiques used was breathing meditation. I love the centered feeling that breathing meditation generates. You first still your mind, quiet your thoughts and bring in positive energy. As you inhale bring in only positive energy by saying in your mind, I breathe in positive energy (or you can say creative energy if that is what you wish to create more of) and as you exhale, Affirm out loud today 'I will change my inner dialogue and put aside all of my own excuses into creating the life I desire for myself.'

Why not give our minds 8 hours to 'marinate' on the life we want to create?

Stop allowing the vampire to suck out your lyfe!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

SAT's aint got nuttin on US

Wanda cracks me up!!! She speaks the truth. Fellas, just share the chores and you be alright.

That is some funny mess. When I get my husband, we will share and share alike. One thing though, I won't let the little things get too big. I'm not going to sweat the small stuff.

Wanda Sykes - Being Tested
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games

Sunday, October 4, 2009

NFL Raise Awareness

I'm really digging how the Steelers came out with there Throwbacks and Pink. Absolutely loved it! Ya'll know that saying, "ONLY REAL MEN WEAR PINK". These men were wearing it well.

Watching Steelers in their black-and-gold THROWBACK jerseys with bright pink sweatbands wrapped around their big, yummy, bulky and burly arms left me breathless -I mean, took me aback - damn, they looked good! I mean damn good!

I'm by no means a Pittsburgh Fan, so all my Pittsburgh Friends let me shout out now, Don't Get It Twisted!!! I have not and will not switch sides.

One thing about me, I give props when due. I think this Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign is awesome.

And absolutely these men are REAL men! yummy ones too...

Thursday, October 1, 2009


There's a Hebrew name for God called "YHWH/Yahweh-Yireh, Jehovah-Jireh" which means "my provider". God has many names but this is one that I live, breathe, sleep and eat by.

In all my 45 years of struggles, disappointments, trials and mishaps and I've had a plenty, but one thing I'm thankful for is Jehovah-Jireh has always provided.

He hasn't failed us yet and he never ever will abandon us.

For anyone out there reading who may have a hard tyme dealing with the fear of abandonment. I want to share this and let you know: God is always there, you can trust him, lean on him and tell him your inner most thoughts and secrets. He will love you and be there, even when the people you love aren't.

When your in a test or trial - You got to have FAITH and you got to keep the FAITH.

"Haven't there been times in your lyfe
when you thought you had God all figured out?
And he seemed to be leading you along a particular path
and it made sense to you -
and all the pieces kinda fit together like a Jigsaw puzzle.
And then about the time you thought you had him in a bottle
and had it all figured out then enormous questions came up.
Maybe circumstances changed
and took you down a path that you hadn't expected to go.
And all at once there were circumstances
where God didn't make sense to you.
Haven't there been times
when you just couldn't understand God's leading in your life?
Times maybe when he did the opposite of what you knew
or thought you knew to be in your best interest?
Times when you just had a great deal of difficulty
in making sense out of God's influence in your life...."

Some times lyfe goes along on an even keel for a long time
and then something happens
God has not promised that there will be no difficulty ,or grief, or loss!
But God is with us and he will never abandon us
for He is "Jehovah-Jireh, my provider"

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

State of Fatherhood

Dads matter, and it's ridiculous for us to act as if all it takes is a loving mom. DADS DO MATTER

Personally, I feel that there isn't enough focus or credit given to black men who are good dads. I believe some black men are nurturing, responsible, caring, loving, and supportive dads.

And, I feel that there are more good black dads out here than what is ever talked about. They very seldom come up in our conversations and all the male friends and associates that I know are very much active in their kids lyfe.

But, I'm still stuck with this question though: with the rise of kids having kids and so many one nite stands having babies- will their be an increase or decrease with Black men staying on the scene and building relationships with their kids in 2010 and future years?

What do you think?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear Lover of My Soul

As I journey through self-discovery, I sometimes write myself letters and sometimes I just write prayers. Here is a prayer that I wrote and wanted to share:

Dear Keeper and lover of my soul,
I'm a little scared and I'm excited at the same time. Lord, you know that I'm in a season of lyfe that has changed just like the weather has and as I journey on please God give me the courage to look myself in the eye and seek your truth.
I pray that you help me be honest and help me overcome the barriers that seem to keep me from love, happiness and success. I can't overcome them without you working them out.
You are the keeper and lover of my soul and I ask that you Give me your devine strength and willingness to lean on you. Help me to call on you as a source of healing to heal from any and all past hurts.
Dear God, give me the peace that I need to handle present circumstances that rise up before me. Heal me from being broken and make me whole in your eyes. Help me to depend on you and only you.
Be my guide and the lover of my soul, for you are the one that stands beside me as I go through this season of lyfe. I love you for who you are and I thank you for devine healing.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Believe Dat

I kinda like this video! and in case you didn't know....guess what?


Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I consider myself to be a motivational speaker. I love listening and attending seminars that are motivational.

This girl was short and sweet.

Defination of DIVA: besides being a female hustler (lol)


Walk like you know......It's time to start walking like you know!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Passing down the name "Stella"

The name "Stella" officially has been passed on to my BFF "Tracey Galloway". This girl is most definitely getting her groove back! I absolutely love it.

We recently been hanging out together and when I say COUGAR in the house, trust me; she got her claws in her CUB. Her CUBBY (her Winston) is loving her up!

I think it's so amazing because if you know her, you would know just 1 year ago she was laying on "Death Bed" and now she's swagging in her Stilettos and rocking those hips!

I officially without any regret hand her down the title "Stella". She is walking this name out and I'm happy for her. Girl got her swag.

Which by the way, I just had someone tell me "Stella"; you never lost it-you always had it and with that said; I don't mind sharing the title.

So im proud to officially call "Tracey Galloway" the new STELLA!!
I'm happy for her and she definitely deserves it.

She said the secret is: "HAVE FUN AND DONT WAIT ON WINSTON". She got her Winston and he is loving her up and down. "Go Stella"

It's fun to finally have some fun again!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Muzzle the Bitch

Bitten by the Office Bitch. A survey showed that 1 in 4 workers is willing to sink their fangs into you just to get ahead. Watch out and don't get bitten by:
THE STEALER: Sticky fingers who swipes your ideas and passes them off as their own.
THE SQUEALER: Sneaks in and runs straight to the boss' office and tells everything.
THE SPOTLIGHT: Goes out of their way to ask you questions that they know the answer to just to attempt to make you look bad or stupid in front of higher ups.
THE WEASEL: Guess who's spreading the rumors about your "SUCKY" job performance?
THE FORGETTER: Meant to tell you the assignment was due yesterday, but oopsie!

Don't get bitten by them. Muzzle that bitch!


This image of Spike Lee reminds me of strength-positive thoughts and focus!

Set our mind on things above. Those things that are pure, lovely, lovable, kind, winsome, and gracious. That simply means to continually choose 24/7 to keep our mind on positive things.

Ummm. Easy said then done, I know. Especially when lyfe's challenges weighs in on you and you developed a piss poor attitude of woe is me. So, how do you ascertain this thought of keeping your mind elevated? I'm glad you ask.

When we get bombarded with those thoughts like, If its discouraging, destructive, if it brings you fear, worry, doubt or unbelief, if the thought makes you feel weak, insecure or inadequate? Guess What? I can guarantee you those thoughts are not from above and you need to get rid of those thoughts immediately.

You see, when you dwell on the devil's lies and the negative takes roots it will create a stronghold in your mind that attacks your inner being. WOW. A Stronghold. What is a stronghold? I'm glad you asked: A stronghold is an incorrect thinking pattern that has molded itself into our way of thinking. These strongholds have the capability to affect our feelings, how we respond to various situations in life, and they play a large role in our spiritual freedom.

It is important for us to always make a quality choice to keep our mind focused on the good things so we can experience Gods very best for our lyfe. We have to be especially on guard during those crisis and challenging times to watch that our thoughts don't create strongholds. When trouble strikes, most of the time our minds are not set on positive thoughts.

Lets be real. How many of us have negative thoughts that have been running in a river flow in our minds for months, years and it just is eroding into a deeper river of negativity. Do you have the PESSIMISTIC stronghold? Never believing anything positive.

Forutntely, we all can redirect our flow. We can cause a new river to flow. One that is positive.

Friend, let me tell you, we don't have to sit back and allow negative, critical thoughts to influence our lyfe anymore.

Transform your lyfe by the RENEWING of your MIND. But remember, the river of negativity wasn't formed overnight, nor will it be redirected without some conscious effort.

So choose today to redirect your River and loose those strongholds.

You have a new river flowing!

(I have set before you lyfe or death, blessings or curses; so therefore choose lyfe and live) Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV

Monday, September 14, 2009

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.




This is dedicated to the family of ASHLEY:

Precious Lord:
Have you ever looked back at things and saw your grandmomma, or someone in your lyfe who you loved and was inspirational to you? I never thought I would turn into my grandmother. But one thing about my nanna, she was a praying woman. She taught me strength through Christ and no matter what or where you are in lyfe, you can call on him and HE WILL ANSWER.

This was her song and I remember Sunday mornings and when things got to deep for her, she would blast this song. You see, she lived right next door to us in the projects of Washington DC. I love my nanna and I remember her singing and hummminng this tune. Now I have adopted this tune>

And, I'm praying and singing this tune for the family of ASHLEY. I'm so sorry.


What's Going On?

Tonight, I watched the VMAs Awards and it seems like we got set back 30 years. Where's the respect for one another? Honestly, I think Kanye's stunt was a set-up just to gain more numbers for twitter, myspace and broadcasting. I think his ass was used and he sold out. Maybe I'm just naive and can't see anyone being that damn NIGGERISH and stupid.

The Night before I witness two young girls fighting while all others stood by and watched. As of tonight, I'm not even sure if one of those girls is the gild who got shot and died. But seeing people unwilling to break up a fight, just stand there and watch them made me mad. I literally had to roll my window down and yell out, Would one of you stop the damn fight? What's going on?

My heart is sad, a young female died un-neccesarily from a "Gun". If this young women didn't die instant, I know the burning sensation that she felt while waiting for help. Help that never came. I can't understand the hate of some people. Why all the hate. No one deserves to die in an un-godly way. If this issue is domestic violence it just further shows the urgency of reaching our young women. Whatever the issue is; my heart is aching right now and I keep asking: What's going on?

My heart crys and weeps for this young girls family and anyone who knew this girl. Im a mother and I know what's its like to cry out for your child. A parent will lay down their lyfe for their child, trust me; we would.

I'm thinking about: When will We Overcome? What's going on? Our young people have very little respect for lyfe. The older ones, well we seem to turn our heads and not want to take the time to reach-teach-guide and mentor our young people. How many deaths, how many killings, shootings will it take?

Even with this blogging, look at how quick we are to scam through someone's post and never even give a comment. Is our blogging all in vain? Are we just blogging for folks to read into our lyfes past judgement and move on? I'm just as quilty as the next, so again; I ask: What's going on? Are we a people who hate, cheat, lie and don't give a shit about others feelings?

The song "We Shall Overcome" seems to be lost by the wayside. We just can't even say a kind word to one another let alone be nice and help build up people. For me, I'm personally sick of the senseless deaths, the youths that are lost, the women who have no self esteem and the men who hate themselves. What's going on?

When will we begin to tear down, build and Re-build the walls that separate, kill and destroy us.

What's going on and When Will We Overcome?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I know some may say, this sounds so corny or bitter. Some may say, hell I know that already. and some may say: that's why your alone. But for me, I must say: It's been a real learning experience.

For me, I would say: Rules are set in motion to be used as tools. Tools to guide you through and keep you with values, boundaries and expectations. Rules are made to be broken, this I know: I broke every last one of these.

I thought about all the young ladies out here and how easy they are and how I'm hearing how empty they feel after giving themselves to men who don't care. I'm one of those ladies. You know, I thought about how we are easily broken when we don't have the self esteem backing us up. Easily broken simply because they don't have any set rules. No value for themselves.

So, as I learned from breaking all the rules; I hope someone can gain from keeping, making and owning up to their own rules.
Here we go:
1. Never EVER become so desparate that you forsake your own needs. You have needs too.
2. Never tell him first you love him, without him showing/telling you first he cares.
3. Don’t waste your time on a fantasy relationship. You should never have to wonder where you stand.
4. Never become the hidden factor. Meaning “THE OTHER WOMAN”, If he can't own you up. Fuck em.
5. If he doesn’t want to build a bond with your kids; He doesn’t plan on staying around, so again…
Fuck Em!
6. Never give your pearls to swine. If he can't support you and the things you do. Yea, that's right...Fuck em!
7. If the man/woman only text you every now and again and unable to call you: Fuck Em! (don’t give him the time of day, cuz its obvious your not too important to him)
8. If the man/woman can’t take you out on a date: Fuck Em!
9. Never allow him to only call you after 2am. If you only hear from him during those times: You’re a booty call; and you know what to say; Fuck Em! That’s right.
10. If he doesn’t take you around his family: Fuck Em. That’s means you’re not worth getting to know.
11. If you never meet his true inner circle of friends; his/her buddies: That means you’re defintely not wifey material to him; your a play toy. so, Fuck em.
12. If he can’t wish you a Happy Birthday on your special day; ladies what do you say: that’s right. Fuck Em!
13. If you can’t rely on him for anything; Fuck em.
14. If you keep finding yourself on the giving end and getting shit in return; fuck em.
15. If you never spent the night with him and he only wants a fuck and kicks you out or either graps his pants and leaves; fuck em.
16. After fucking him and he goes for days without even a text; you know what to do: Fuck Em.
17. If he says, I’ll call you if anything changes: Fuck Em.

I was just sitting here chilling watching "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" and sipping on my glass of wine and I began to think of Rules that women/young girls and even brothas should have for themselves. You know the saying, If you don’t love yourself….that man...that woman... will spot it a mile away. He will dogg the shit out of you, if you let him.

Love yourself first and then you will find that man who will love you back. Don't let him/her mistreat you anymore, remember: You're way to deserving to allow mistreatment. Trust me - someone will love you have you by their side. So get that attitude and stop letting the doggs mistreat you. Simply say: Fuck Em!

I would love to hear some of your "Fuck Em Rules". Go ahead a list your own, we all could use a few; I'm sure.

Where's Winston's Ass At?

I finally got my cable today. My house is starting to look like a home again. It's back to feeling comfy and cozy. Got my two damn boxes of candles out and its just a sweet aroma scent that fills my home with a relaxing, quiet, cozy feeling of energy. It's my safe haven called home. You know, I just realized I haven't called my home a safe haven since Steubenville. Wow!

But, where the hell is Winston's ass?

What better way to spend my first night with cable then watching my show "How Stella Got Her Groove Back". I stopped after work and picked up one of my friends, Ms. Chardonnay. I spoke about her before, she visits every now and again and always gives you a sweet smooth taste and a relaxing feeling. Anyway,

Where's my Winston? Dmanit- I need to feel Winston beside me loving me and loving every part of me.

Angela Bassett is really a sexy cougar on this picture. I love this show and in case you didn't know, this is where I got my name. A special friend actually called me this through email a long time ago.

For now, lets just say....I need me a Winston.

Have you seen his ass anywhere? If you see him, tell him "Stella is looking for him!"

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Feeling the Heartbeat

This was very difficult for me to accept as well as it was for me to share: Over the past several months, I think I been in somewhat of a pre-mid lyfe crisis. Turning 45 and facing personal setbacks, mishaps, betrayal and experiencing the empty nest syndrome has been a tough road.

I think this past weekend really took me to the road of Acceptance to Let Go. Have you ever been in love? Ever felt the warmth of someone's heart?

Here is when you know you're special with someone:

1. When your very last thought at nite is of him/her
2. When your very first thought is of him/her in the morning
3. When being with them makes you feel like you're the most important person on earth
4. When your family tells you that there something different about you
5. When his/her friends knows who you are and you hang out with them
6. When you would climb the highest mountain for them
7. When you feel empty and lost without them
8. When the connection makes you feel like you can unload all yourself to them and its mutual trust between the two of you
9. When you can be silly and playful around them
10. When you feel so comfortable around them and your true embarrassing moments aren't so embarassing.
11. When you experience something unique together
12. When you can't find yourself being without them
13. When he/she puts a claim on you and wants his/hers buddies to know.
14. When you have an argument and you can't take another moment being mad at them/Make up is the best thing ever.
15. When you spend the night with them and wake up having no regrets.

There are many many things shows you are his/her number one woman/dude. I'm sure you can come up with your own.

Over the weekend, these are just a few of mine that pushed me into accepting It's time to Let Go.

Honestly, ladies and my brothas: If you find that special someone who makes your heart skip a beat and those feelings are mutual. Grap him/her up and hold tight. Be geniune and love them, you may never get that opportunity again.

Have you ever been in love? Ever felt the warmth of someone's heart? I can't wait to feel like that again and hopefully this time the feelings will be mutual.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


When trouble comes....Count it all JOY and Keep your Head High!

As I was going through some Utube videos, this one really Stood out and hit home. The lyrics are truly touching right for me now, but I like the video reflection of past movies, actors, songs etc. What I like the most was how it reminds me, that this situation; this circumstance that you (I) may be in right now, will also pass. And, when we look back at things; it reminds me that "we gonna make it." It reminds me WE got to keep on pushing. Through it all and Count each step, well, count it all joy.
For me the song and video has so much meaning and substance.
Count it on joy
Mornin' will come
The sun will shine
Keep your head high amd

I hope you find it to be comforting and filled with growths of strength, determination and love.

Portrait of a Friend

I just celebrated my 45 years of living. What a fabulous birthday time. My mom and dad bought me a New Washer for my new home! I was so excited, came home and they had it set up and everything.

As I started my birthday, I prayed and asked God to keep me surrounded with only geninue friends. I only want genuine friends and I know they are hard to come by and at the same time, I only want to be a genuine friend. Surround me Lord with the inner circle of friends that will love, respect and honor what a friend should be.

But you Always gotta remember your friends like:
Ms. MARGARITA & Miss Chardonnay and my new BFF Queen Malibu!!! (just joking)

On a serious note, friends are hard to come by and true friends are few in number! If you get one in your lyfetyme, consider yourself blest.

"Portrait of a Friend"

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love who you ard and be your friend.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Have you ever thought you had forgiven someone and find out later, that maybe you haven't? Well damn, I have and I just got nudged with a feeling of resentment.

All this freaking tyme I thought I was over this shit. Okay, here's the deal. Umm. I would say about 12 years ago (maybe longer) my ex husband's girlfriend called me up. Yep, she had my freaking house number cause she use to call when I was at work
( you know how we do). Anyway,

She called me crying and said Ms. Stella, please don't hang up but this is (and for the record I will leave her name out). And for the record, she calls me Ms. Stella. Now all of a sudden I'm Ms. Why the respect I don't know cause she didn't have it for me when she was riding around with my ex in my car and fucking my husband in my bed. For the record, she is/was a crack head, prostitute, shoplifter etc. Yes, my ex and I broke up over a crackhead and no I didn't put him out, he left on his own to live with this crackhead woman. Anyway, This is my rant so let me get this shit out.

She went on saying, that she had been watching me the whole time her and my ex was running around and she watched how I carried myself and that I was a REAL TRUE LADY. By now, I'm looking at the freaking phone and ready to hang up on her ass. But for some reason, that night I didn't, I listened. She continued to say, she admired me and was calling to ask for my forgiveness. She said, she knows I'm a godly woman and she hopes I will forgive her but if I didn't she's understands. Blah Blah Blah about how wrong she was and needed to tell me she was sorry. So make the story short, I told her I forgave her. Yep, I spoke the words of forgiving her out my mouth; but honestly never released the forgiveness from my heart.

Damn, its been 12 years and I carried unforgiveness around and never truly realized it until today. Why today? I'm glad you ask.

She sent me a facebook request for friendship. The shit doesn't hurt anymore, I long since moved on from that and would speak when I saw her. But I thought, how dare her ask me to be her facebook friend. We ain't cool like that...Now, when I recieved the notification at work on my blackberry phone, I immediately got pissed and started calling her all kinds of bitches. And not just her, but a few other women who have been getting under my skin. I was just going off about bitches and hoes and how I'm tired of them all. I was so ready to put her on blast on twitter and hit deny on my facebook.

Then I heard this STILL SMALL VOICE say, Stella; you told this woman you forgive her years ago, so why are you upset?

Ummm. I damn sure did, I remember her phone call so vividly. I started asking myself, Why am I so upset? I did tell her I forgave her. ummm. I get home tonight and I go to my facebook and pull her request and got nudged again with "TRUST IN THE LORD". That's her motto on her page. I just told my friend last night, I'm trusting in God and believing God. Trusting God.

You know, when I really think about it; this woman was a TRUE WOMAN. Ladies, you know how we do, we will fuck somebody else's man in a heartbeat and think nutting of it. I told myself, I would never hurt a woman that way because I know how it feels. But, I did and that's another story of its own. Anyway, She was the true woman by calling me up and asking for forgiveness.

Sometimes, we may think in our minds that we forgave but when you come face to face and look it in the eye, if you are upset about it or feel resentful; then you truly haven't released the forgiveness in your heart.

Today, I'm thankful that I can release in my heart forgiveness for this woman and truly mean it this time from my heart!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009



I'm sitting here missing my Pookie, ya'll. Don't ever tell him I called him that on blog. He wouldn't be too happy. Welp, he called me tonight he stills likes school and his classes. He hasn't been to the new house yet, so he has no clue what it looks like. Too bad, I can't muster up enough energy to get his room done for him. Not yet, anyway. So, his room is needing unpacked unless I get energy later on.

My baby made the Varisty Team. Yep, my freshman child starting on College Varisty. All I can say is "Go Jesus" work on him and for him! He loves his classes and getting his studies in, Lord I pray he keeps it up and stays focused.

So far, his major is in Special Education. My baby wants to work with special needs kids. He is soo like his mom when it comes to helping people.

You know the older our kids get, the more you worry about them. Tonight, Im happy and missing my POOKIE.

My freakin cable isn't on yet. Why the hell does it take them a week to come and turn my freakin cable on but if they don't get my money on time, there are quick to cut me off? Freakin Cable Company and I'm freakin bored with no TV. Can't even find my box of movies.

Moving - packing and unpacking, you gotta love it.

Sum Sun Shining

I love people. I love to talk with them, learn and share ideas/opinions and I'm always ready to pitch a hand to help. That's just my nature and who I am as a person.

But, when I meet someone who gives back to me it is even more amazing! It lets me know how much we as a people are loved by others!

I just met the most amazing person ever! I mean the mere conversation this person and I shared was so enlightening, inspirational and best yet; so enthusastic. Every word was exactly what I needed at this particular time in my lyfe. I believe it was God sent and defintely devine intervention. The energy that bounced with every word spoken was amazing.

Energized and filled with amazement of how people move from one level to the next is amazing. Have you ever had a conversation where word for word you just felt so in tuned? We talked on the street corner I know a good hour before we both realized, we had an appointment to meet.

Our disscussion went from one topic to another. I enjoyed the conversation and the energy that we both felt and I know it certainly does brighten up ones day!

I like the live energy that I felt and I will always remember that conversation!

Watch Out World! I was just told: THE BEST IS YET TO COME....DAMN-I'm excited!

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Every now and again, I like to be still and feel the presence of God. This is one of those tymes. I'm spending my first nite in my new home alone and it feels so sootheing and comforting. Im enjoying this quietness before tomorrow sets in when all chaos breaks out with loading and unloading and moving stuff. And, of course of me doing what I do best, Be Bossy. lol. I'm being still tonite.

Im listening to Maxwell and reading my book I got from Cali, its a real good romantic book. This is my way of "Opening up to God". Like me, I'm sure most of you heard that phrase before, but can I ask you; what does that really mean? and How, do you really open up to God?

Now God for me is Christ. He is my first and foremost love. For you, it might be nature, spirit, the creator, budda, mother universe, etc. You get the picture; whatever feels right to you.

There has been many times when I had to use my faith and call upon God and everytime, he has always shown himself real. I'm sure, like you; I can share so many amazing stories how he shown himself real in my lyfe.

Opening yourself up to God really isn't that difficult at all. You simply just do nothing and just let go of trying to solve or resolve your situation. It's called "BE STILL". Do absolutley nothing. Feel, breathe and BE STILL. You see, in that quietness, you will find you are better able to identify with what's going on inside you. Better able to get answers, better able to just listen to that still small voice.

BE STILL and let down your guard, and surrender. Yep, this requires some courage on your scared behind. :)) But you can do it. Really its a part of you that becomes vulunerable on a deeper level. (people just don't seem to like to go there) Cause see it requires you to reach out right when you are alone and in the dark to an unknown source of power and love that you can not see. (now that's deep)

For me, letting down my guard means several things. Right now, I'm not ready to share those things. (maybe later, as time moves on) God has always been there loving me through the good times and the bad times.

He is my rock, my healer, my provider, my love and my protecter.


What would letting down your guard mean to you? When was the last time you opened up to God?

Thursday, August 27, 2009


Casual Dating

This is for my brotha's. I use to have a few following me but I think I must have lost them. Not sure what happen to Frankie, Korry, Scizzle, Philosophy of James and any others. I guess my blog is too girly for them and they found no interest and stopped commenting.

A few of them felt that I was/am a MALE HATER. I'm not, got mad love and sorry, that they didn't find my blog suitable for men.

I'm from the ole school and trying to get with this casual dating thing and recently been told "I'm just not that in2 you". So, here I am. Back on the dating scene and trying to figure out, what does casual dating mean? let me explain.

It appears that we live in an era that forsakes commitment, dating and exclusive courtship. Now days men and women just want to casual date. (whatever the fu*k that means).

But as I'm out here trying to grasp the concept while still maintaining "The STELLA" got her groove back.

I'm beginning to notice that there are 3 types of men. Brotha's don't start hating me. Lets check them out:

The Starter: Well, I think he's the dude that gets things started. Takes you out and wines and dines you, but ends up at the end of the night with just a kiss or peck on the cheek. He never gets to 2nd base. You are not attractive to this dude at all, but oh well.

Then you have The Set Up dude: Now this dude is a little more desireable and a little more sexier. But, the set up guy; he is probably guy that wines and dines and then gets the kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. He is the one you may call up and say, hey you wanna check out a movie or hangout. He may be the one that ladies we go to and just vent and talk over our issues. You feel comfortable with him and he makes you laugh, but he just doesn't know how to sweep you off your feet.

Now you get down to The Closer: He's the booty call. He's the one you give the cookie to. He's the one that's called into the game to finish off what the others just couldn't do. He's the go to guy in tough situations The HOT COMMODITY for the ability to perform in the clutch.

Brothas, don't hate me and sistas don't get mad. If we really sit back and think about it, how many of you brothas have been either the starter, set up guy or the closer and never even knew it?

So my sistas & brothas, what does casual dating mean to you? Does it fall into one of these categories?

And what is your definition of a closer/maintenance man
I mean it would seem that all three of these dudes serve a purpose at some point in this game of casual dating, so which type of dude do you prefer and why?

AS for me, I guess I'm just ole school and believe I can find a man that can do be "ALL IN ONE". Some say I'm dumb for thinking that way, who knows.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

2 OLD to play the game and 2 YOUNG to be alone

2nite, I'm feeling alone. I'm feeling like I wish I could turn back the time. I'm feeling like I wish I could set the time where we both were at the same stage of lyfe.

This is My open confession. My open letter to myself.

Dear Stella,

I know you want to have a lasting relationship. Trust me, Even though it may not always be easy, I realize you want it to be a lasting one.

Yes, you are Too old to play the game and you are defintely too young to be alone. Hold on girl, your change is coming.

I want a lasting one for you.
And, I know that it will mean the two of you would need to put forth effort and work to please, help each other.
to be fair and honest with each other.
You both would need to accept each other without judgements.

Stella, you would need to put forth effort and work:
to keep you own individuality, yet become one with each other
to remain strong and supportive in adverse times and good times
to be exciting and interesting to one another
to make each other laugh and always play with one another.

Stella, you both would need to put forth effort and work:
to always consider each other as the single mose important person
to always consider love and not take for granted the most imortant emotion that you can feel and that emotion is LOVE.

Stella, you both will need to always consider and re-consider your relationship.

Even though it may not always be easy to have a lasting relationship, working hard is very easy. And, Stella; the results can be the beauty of a loving and lasting relationship.

So, Stella, I write to you and I encourage you to hold on...your change is coming!

It does happen in our communities

The Strength of the Black Family.


Inspite of the growing statics that are discussed that Black Families mostly have babies out of wedlock and have little or no chance in marriage. Or, if we do manage to stumble down the aisle, we are more than likely to end in divorce or some type of proverty.

Inspite of all the negative hype about the black families. I believe differently and I'm believing these numbers. 2008 statics shows that the turnaround is stunning. As reported by The New York Times, the Census Bureau says the number of black children being raised by two parents jumped 14 percent. "Let me say again, It jumped 14 percent", That's a positive change.

I'm one who most always goes against the grain and the odds and for the most part, the black marriage cup may not be running over but personally, I do see it as half full. I'm so sick and tierd of always hearing negative feedback and remarks about the black families. "I refuse to give up." I won't give up and I BELIEVE.

I just read this article and I wanted to share and see what your thoughts were: The article gives many suggestions on keeping the black families together. Seems simple to me, Here we go:

Marriage, with a mother and a father and children in one home, all reasonably happy in a reasonably stable home almost semms unlikely. As I personally think about this, I am asking myself what can be done differently to increase the chances of black families growing and staying together?
One couple who has been married for 47 years. (Can you imagine loving one person for 47 years?) I can. Me love ya long time, huh! lol Anyway, this couple said that they built a foundation together. Here is what they did:

1. prayed together
2. hung around couples who were loving and succesfully making their marriage work.
3. open communication
4. separate finances (they advise whatever works for the couple)
5. they never went to bed angry.
6. appreciated one another and never took each other for granted
7. shared household chores
8. respected and valued one anothers views and opinions and compromised any
9. maintained their own identity.

This seems so easy. I'm just not going to give up, not when I see other couples that I respect happy and loving each other after many many years.

It goes to show "black families are still strong".

Sunday, August 23, 2009



He's like a smooth chocolate candy bar. His lips are sweet and juicy filled with a taste that is Good to the last drop.
He's like a breathe of fresh air, that takes your breath away as you exhale.

Like an Oasis to my desert,
He was hard to find. once I did, it had me wonderin if he was really real...
Probably an allusion but still...
I'll remain in that desert only to spend more time with that mirage of him.
You see...
That's just how thirsty I am...

He only gave me bits & pieces so I guess I got a collage of him.
Set the coordinates 4 my heart & rain a barrage of him.
For 40 days and 40 nights.
I Want him all over me, so I tried camouflagin him.

Tryin 2 figure out if he is a gift or a curse
Figuring out which one is worse...
All I know is that if I'm the sun then he gotta be the center of the universe.
But to no avail...

Am I spiraling out of control?
Yea, he just keeps pullin me in.
Sucked into him like I was light and he was a black hole...
And I just can't excape.
Wishin upon a star so,
I'm hopin this was fate
So I'm sorry if I draw a blank
Its just so hard to concieve...
I need him Like I need the air that I breathe

But for some reason I'm still holdin my breath.
Hopin he don't play me to the left...

So in order for me to rest peacefully
I wanna give him every piece of me
& excuse me if I don't have no decency
He's all I can think of as of recently.

As u can see, my enfactuation 4 him
Is undeniable...
So the best way 2 describe him

(partially written by Ryan Jones)

I think this poem will be my first reading in public. Whenver I get the nerve to start reading poetry. lol

One word

The power of ONE WORD.

I had a great opportunity to attend the YSS Celebrate Youth Event and had a funtastic time.

We had several display items but the best one turned out to be the one most avoided. We displayed a wall called "Tearing down the wall of shame". This wall had very negative impactful layers of words that over time has destroyed us as a person. The object of the lesson was simply, replace the word with a positive word, symbol or phrase. You had to write the positive word on our block to rebuild the wall. Sounds easy enough, huh?

Why wasn't it, though? That's the one million dollar question, I keep pondering over.

Why is it so easy to speak negative words, thoughts or feelings to someone rather then give ONE KIND/POSITIVE WORD?

Why is it so hard to Just think of and give ONE POSITIVE WORD? Any thoughts or reasoning to this madness, because I truly don't get the concept?