All I want 4 Christmas is...

FLY GUY

An Open letter:

Dear Mr. Fly Guy,

You know how you almost swept me off my feet? Over the past few months, you've been taking me out on a few dates. And to that note, you been a real fly ass gentleman.

Yep, for me, I finally got nerve up to begin dating. You been after me for a long time and I told you back then that I had a dude and was quite content.

Mr. Fly guy, It's been years since I even had a date and I really did forget how speical I really was and how much fun dating could be. Damn, I let soo much time pass me by.

And, let me whispher this in your ear, so far, its been a real challenge dating and finding a honest guy! Dont get me wrong, I've been having and enjoying it all but I knew you were too damn good to be true! YOU LIED TO ME and you didn't have to because you should have allowed me to make my mind up whether I wanted to continue or stop. Instead, you acted just like the typical male lying cheating whore!

I have always been a woman who dated one guy at a time and, you helped me understand
that dating and f@@king are two different things. You see, Stella always thought, if you slept with the guy; then you are dating and in a relationship with the guy. You helped me see, that's not always true.

So, I'm leaning back and just looking over what dating means to me. And as I prepare myself for 2010; I want to be one step ahead of the game. For me, dating means enjoying someones company enough that I am ready to begin seeing that person exclusive. It means developing a relationship while spending quality time with him, hanging out with his friends, being around his family. It's learning his ways and adjusting so that we both can agree to disagree. For me, it means being there for him, listening, supporting, encourageing, stroking and helping him and by all means exploring his and mine sexual pleasures that takes our relationship to a HEALTHY growing level.

Dating is a REAL challenge but so far i'm having fun, even though, I've had the worse luck with men wanting to fxxk me, cheat on me, dump me, date me and still say I wanna see you even though I have another woman. WTF. I don't deserve second. Some women like it. I'm not one.

I feel I'm a good woman, I'm honest, trustworthy, compassionate, intelligent, professional, gentle, sexy and good in bed plus I can maintain my own. So, shouldn't I have a man that is down for me?

I know some women are happy getting any attention. Some women would rather have any attention because they don't get any from any where else. If that makes sense.

My question is, What is it about me that keeps attracting UNAVAILABLE lying cheating ass men? Do I have: hey, f@@k me - lie & Cheat on me written over my forehead? I just don't get it any more with men. I think they are the whores. So what should I do? Do I just give up and throw in the towel on men or keep dating with options until Mr. Fly Guy comes?

Defintely, I think Imma wash my face of the ink stamp! lol

There are some DECENT AVAILABLE FLYS GUYS out there, right? Right?

For me, All I want this Christmas, Is a fly guy under my tree. One who is down just for me. Is that asking for too much?

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted to wish all my readers a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Here's a thought for you:

We all have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. At times we take a lot for granted and never truly view our lives as a blessing.

So today, I ask you to; Think about 3 things that has happened especially good for you this year and write them down! If you can't think of three then at least one. We all have one thing for sure to be thankful for and that is: "WE ARE ALIVE" and that within itself is a blessing!!

Have a blest Thanksgiving.

Offense vs Defense

Where is the balance? Because your nice and somewhat submissive, does that mean you become a doormat? When people thinkingly or unthinkingly throw those arrows and those gauntlets are cast down on you; and lets not forget about those damn challenges. Yep those challenges that hit us mentally, physically, spirtually and emotionally; how does one deal with it all?

I guess it's just not what you say anymore, it's more of what you don't say. Ummm. And I guess it's not always what you do, it's what you don't do that really makes the difference. Well, seems like Victory or defeat all plays apart in those two factors.

How do you keep a balance and not lose your cool? It all seems so funny, you hear people say all the time "I don't get mad, I get even" or "KARMA back at cha". I don't know, seems when people say hurtful things or delibertly do hurtful things, its hard not to maintain.

So, how does one win without losing your self-respect, your cool, and even your values?

And I guess the final question I would ask is, how does one find the courage to stand alone if need to and put on their game face to deal?

For me, it's just been a long rollercoaster ride. Damn, I swear; Up - down and around some pretty sharp ass curves. Have you been there? Lyfe can be one hell of a roller coaster, if you let it.

I'm learning to get off the feaking ride and stay off. I'm learning, in order to stay ahead of the game I got to play oOFFENSE and NO MORE DEFENSIVE TACKLE. Haha, that's been a lyfe changing experience for me. But, I'm there. The whole experience is learning to control the emotions and gain a settled heart and a made up mind!

In the midst of the challenges, obstacles, arrows, punches, etc.; try and develop a settled heart, a made up mind and one thing for sure be rooted and grounded with wisdom & knowledge. It really does go a long way.

There's the balance right there:
1.Settled heart
2.Made up Mind
3.Wisdom and Knowledge

The ME that I AM

Just a lil something to think about, as you journey to become who you are. Understand one thing, love isn't found in screwing.

What I like is who I AM.

Muzzle da Bitch

Bitten by the Office Bitch. A survey showed that 1 in 4 workers is willing to sink their fangs into you just to get ahead. Watch out and don't get bitten by:
THE STEALER: Sticky fingers who swipes your ideas and passes them off as their own.
THE SQUEALER: Sneaks in and runs straight to the boss' office and tells everything.
THE SPOTLIGHT: Goes out of their way to ask you questions that they know the answer to just to attempt to make you look bad or stupid in front of higher ups.
THE WEASEL: Guess who's spreading the rumors about your "SUCKY" job performance?
THE FORGETTER: Meant to tell you the assignment was due yesterday, but oopsie!

Don't get bitten by them. Shut em down and Muzzle that bitch!

Market for Niggas

A friend sent me this video and asked my opinion. I told him, I'm going to blog about it and see what others think. I'm not too sure how I feel about this message. Personally, I have mixed feelings.

Here's my mixed feelings:
1. I think it is a good thing that someone can stop selling drugs, change their lyfestyle and begin writing, rapping about their lyfe and tymes. And,
2. I think it is good that this stardom gets a person out of ghetto/hood to Hollywood (a better way of living). But my mixed thoughts are this:

1. Exploiting women to make money a
2. taking riches to promote guns, drugs and continued lyfestyle of thug lyfe.
3. High prices for African American CD's, clothing, DVD's etc.

I guess to each's own. Not all black rappers, poets, musicians etc are in the "nigga Market". But, we do have many selling their soul.

What do you think about the message? I just have mixed feelings.

Stella Award

I been contemplating posting this and actually trying not to acknowledge somethings. Up until this moment, I really only been having some fun with the name "STELLA". Now, I'm convinced to make her name and title an AWARD. Yep, been tossing this back and forth in my mind and I'm ready to take the title to another LEVEL.

Let me first explain where the name derived from and how I took its title. I'm only sharing this story as an open book because I need to explain why and how the STELLA AWARD was established.

Of course, it was from the movie. It took root with me about 4 1/2 years ago. I met a man, and yes he was a little younger than I.

You see, back then when I met him; I was a woman who shut herself down. I mean heart set on double lock and key hid in safe! lol. Before he came along; I closed myself up and went on lets just say many years of celibacy. Many years.

Don't get me wrong. I was very happy and content being single. I wasn't even thinking about having a man in my lyfe. That was the furthest thing on my mind. My friday nites every friday consisted of Friday Nite Prayer. I taught sunday school, faithful doing community outreach and loved attending Church. I dressed just like an old church lady, Never showed the knees and wasn't concerned about sex. It's amazing how a little flirtation, flattery and attention changes a woman. I mean, This brother was all in one and he had me hooked. He started making jokes about the movie Stella and the ending. This is where the name derived.

With that said, this award will have nothing to do with how many men you can put on the bench, how many d$&ks you suck or how good you are in bed.

It has everything to do with beginning to function as a beautiful wonderful women who is learning how to feel love, respect, honor and show dignity for herself. It has everything to do with feeling inspired, empowered, and motivated. It has everything to do with believing in yourself and knowing you are marvelously created with a purpose. It has everything to do with accomplishing goals, plans and making your dreams come true. It has everything to do with knowing that if you never meet your Winston or if you have to let your Winston go, you are still wonderfully and beautifully made. This award has everything to do with, women/men/people who have overcome obstacles and said within themselves LYFE HAS MORE TO OFFER then laying down accepting death.

So with that said again, I am going to award people personally through my blog as well as in person The STELLA Award.

The criteria is very simple but you got to be ready to move from victim to victor to healing:


If you know anyone who is rebuilding their lives and on a journey to getting themselves together, would you please send me their name and a brief bio. I will check into their stats and give them the props and recognition so eloquently due them.

As for me, I think this is a great opportunity to show love to my peeps and help encourage, empower, build & rebuild! I hope and pray other women/men step forward and begin the journey to a road less travelled.

Please forward their names to Rhondawest2008@gmail.com