Houserween

It's that time of year again and my girlfriend is having a Halloween Party in Pittsburgh. So I suppose I have to dress up again.

Last year I went as Ms. Officer (lil Wayne). I had to music playing on my phone, cuffs, badge and all. Only damn thing missing was lil Wayne and the dudes that was trynna get the part wasnting singing the right tune. lol. I have to admit, that was a bad ass cops outfit and I cuffed way too many! It was funny and really I had some fun with the outfit. Here's a couple of pics from playing the part:








This year, I think I might go as Lady Gaga or twista! Not too sure yet. All I know, it should be fun and I need the right costume!

Successful Black Women

Have you even noticed how powerful people know that there is no magic wand for discovering who they are? You look at people and wonder, damn, how did they achieve so much and what did they do to get there? Yes, I know the obvious, that it takes hard work, dedication and commitment to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly. Climbing that ladder is a bitch at times and you certainly have to know who you are to get there.

It seems like, the good in you draws compliments and admiration from others. Then there is the bad that has those parts of lyfe that needs some working on. (We all have those parts and its good to know what are your weak areas as well as your strengths). Well of course, we got the ugly. Yep, the ugly; that could just be the part of lyfe that represents some bad experiences that left us with some deep emotional wounds and scars. But you know what I'm learning? I see that even the ugly serves a purpose. If you really think about it, its there to build our power muscles that gives us the drive and determination to succeed.

Being powerful means, you know how to bring all of you to the table. Boldly authenticating and applying our very best for the task at hand, and not just for our own agenda but for the good of all.
When we are truly powerful, we understand that whether we wield influences the ultimate goal is to lift others up as we climb the ladder. That's what power means to me, having the skill and feeling strongly endowered with a strong sense of knowledge, wisdom, skills, gifts and talents and unfolding it all at the table.

Here are 7 Habits that help successful professional black women:
1. They know how to manage up. Doing what you can to make your boss's job easier and build your trust to solidfy your relationship.
2. They Build a network. Black women build relationships with those who tend to look like them, but they also make connections beyond their own gender, race, occupation etc. They have a wide diverse network to access opportunities.
3. They strategic about their brand. Your brand is what others say about you when you are not in the room. They know that their success is based upon how well then manage their reputation.
4. They position themselves globally.
5. They continuously develop themselves. Constantly learning and taking advantage of formal and informal education that enhances your skills.
6. They take risk to get noticed. No matter how hard you work, it won't help if no one notices.
7. They never ever play the DIVA. Mediocre performance won't cut it, even if you are best buddies with powerful people. Use your influence wisely, but be pleasant and helpful to everyone from the BOTTOM UP.

article from: Essence Mag

These tips will certainly help as I continue to move up the corporate level of success.

R.I.P.

My how the years have gone by so damn fast. I remember this like it was yesterday. My man Tupac may his soul RIP.

With today marking the 14th anniversary of his death at age 25, after battling six days to survive gunshot wounds sustained on the strip in Las Vegas, people all over the World are remembering Tupac Shakur.!

His words were very impactful to many and it resonated with so much power. Definately a man before his tyme.

I believe, Tupac is looking down at me and at you and saying these words:

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots
I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, if don't nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him


That's what I feel his spirit saying, yea, he is telling us; "Keep your head up"

After~ "After A While"

Part 1:
After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept
your defeats
with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child

And you learn to build
all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

And you learn
that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Part 2: After ~ "After A While"


I know that there are times when loving someone becomes difficult and that we are bound to get hurt from time to time. Then you realize that after a while you learn..that life does go on...

After "after a while" you change and build your hopes and you pray that maybe this time it will be different. And you hold on to that hope because in the end that's all you really have..

AFTER "AFTER A WHILE"
You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but
to enjoy its company,
and you want someone's lips to kiss,
not because you are lonely but because you are
happy, and you want to give presents
and you want to make promises.

After 'after a while'
You begin to accept your defeats like an adult,
but like a child, will want someone to listen
and care,
and you want someone who will build roads with
you today so maybe you can pave the way for your
future together.

After 'after a while'
You want someone's sunshine and warmth,
but also accept the rain and the cold,
and you want to give flowers picked from your
own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect,
you want it to be more than a picture
even if it means having to be imperfect
because you want someone in it to stay and to
live.

Then you'll see that there is
such a thing as love...
and that you were made to live in someone else's
garden...
and you'll know that there is more to life than
yourself.

AND NOW...
You realize that no matter how tightly you hold,
if you're meant to let go, you can
And then you will understand that love
gives you reasons to understand
even the most complicated situations
And you will grow older believing that just
because you have convictions
doesn't mean you're always right

You will remember lips because of the smiles
that made your day,
the words that touched your soul, not only
because of the sweet kisses

And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb
the meaning of lessons
learned,
You feel that you are finally being the person
you never thought you'd be

So, armed with courage, strength and confidence,
you will face the world
head on...
With or without an army behind you
Because you know your worth and that alone is an
armor

With more heartbreaks you will cry
But after every heartache, you will rise

Life is a garden ... it takes long to make it
beautiful.
But it's always worth the wait..

***
this is for all of us who patiently waits
It will be worth the wait... so, keep the faith.

written by: Hazel in response to Veronica Shoftshall, publication of poem After A While

The Devine Art of Letting GO

Written by: The Single Woman

Love is defined in many ways. Ask anyone on the street for their definition of love, and you’ll get no two answers the same. The Bible defines love. Movies define love. Turn on the radio and you’ll get a definition of love. We see evidence of love in the unlikeliest of places and among the most unlikely of men and women. Your cat loves you. Your dog loves you. Your neighbor loves you. Your mom loves you.

Love is everywhere we look. It makes the world go round, you know.

Something I’ve learned recently, and I didn’t learn it the easy way...is that love...true love...real, unselfish, unconditional love...can be found most prevalently in the act of letting go. I know, I know...we’ve all heard the saying: "If you love something enough, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never really yours to begin with." As cliche as it might sound, it still holds true. I am learning that the most selfless act of love one person can show another person is to let them go. The inclination is always to beg, to cry, to plead for the other person to change their mind, forgive you, love you more, want you more, need you more...to show them why they can’t live without you...to prove to them that if they give you just one more chance, you’ll get it right this time. It’s human nature. It’s definitely my nature, as I typically refuse to give up without a fight. But if the person you love most in the world is struggling to break free...ready to move on...slipping through your fingers...regardless of how much it breaks your heart, shouldn’t you wish them the best and let them fly?

We have to let go. Not just for our own sake, but for the other person’s. Our hearts will never sing as long as we cling. When someone I love makes a choice, and his choice is not me...no matter how much I adore him and want to prove to him how wrong he was and how much he needs me in his life and how perfect we are for each other...I have to release him, and his memory, and trust that life and God has a plan for us both, even if it’s not together. And that moment, that decision, that act of letting the other person go...that’s our gift to them. At the end of the day and on the horizon of moving on, I guess our goodbye is really the only gift we have left to give.

Letting go is not for the faint of heart. It’s the hardest thing most of us will ever have to learn how to do...but still, we must do it. Because true love, real love, unselfish love...demands nothing less.

Questions that I asked someone and now I'm asking you: Does letting go mean, you give up on waiting? Typically I refuse to give up without a fight. But if the person you love is struggling to break free...ready to move on...slipping through your fingers...regardless of how much it breaks your heart, shouldn’t you wish them the best and let them fly?

ZENhabits

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead.

Refreshing Ways to Bring Out the Awesomeness in Life

1. Return to simplicity. Simplification is about de-cluttering your life. It’s not just de-cluttering our homes and spaces though, it’s simplifying our mental and emotional realms. It’s shedding the baggage of self-limiting beliefs and constant mental chatter. It’s finding some quietude in your life.
2. Stop labeling. It’s amazing how much we think we’re experiencing life, but we’re really just thinking about it. I want you to try a little exercise with me. Take a look at something around you. Maybe it’s a photo, a plant, or your keyboard. Our normal state of mind is to think about the object we’re looking at, to conceptualize it in our mind and place labels on it. Now look at the same object and don’t think about it. If this is difficult for you, that’s okay. Relax and just look. Let go. Notice a difference? That’s because when you’re not thinking about what you’re things, you’re actually experiencing life directly. The labels in our mind are simply abstractions, they’re not reality itself. Try doing this more often: when you’re in line at the grocery store, walking your dog, listening to music, etc. You’ll start to enjoy your experience much more.
3. Enjoy the simple things in life. This goes along with quieting our minds as well. The next time you eat a piece of fruit or enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, simply enjoy it. Sounds like a pretty obvious suggestion right? Well it is, but most of the time we do exactly the opposite. We’re not just eating or drinking, we’re thinking about all sorts of things. We’re thinking about the next item of action; taking out the dog to use the bathroom, the mail we need to take to the post office, etc. The next time you eat or drink, just do that. You will experience the flavors and tastes at if it were the first time.
4. Change things up. Try something new. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but have never gotten around to. If you’ve always wanted to learn to play tennis, go out and buy a tennis racket and a ball. If you don’t have a partner, you can always play the wall. =)
5. Make time for what you love. We often get burnt out because we’re busy working and attending to obligations. If we are not doing anything we’re excited about, we’ll likely start resenting our lives. It’s important to make time every day doing things you really enjoy.
6. Drop unwanted commitments. Just as we need to make time for doing things we love, we also need to prune the things we aren’t passionate about. Some things aren’t really negotiable. If you don’t pay your electricity bill, you will be eating by candlelight. But other so-called obligations aren’t really necessary. A good test is to ask yourself if your commitment is something that’s really adding to your life. Is it enhancing your life, or is it just adding more stress? Sometimes quitting is the best answer when simplifying your life.
7. Focus on what matters. I have a tendency to want everything to be perfect. I want to edit every article I write until I can’t tell whether or not it’s good anymore. Then I edit it some more. I later realize that even when I don’t get as good of a response as I hoped for, no one really care. Except me. You have the option to not care about things being less than perfect too.
8. Let go. Relaxation is possible. I know, it scares me too. The thought of not obsessing over all the things I didn’t get done today is often terrifying. But it’s okay. There will always be tomorrow. On your deathbed do you really think you’re going to be thinking about the to-do list you didn’t complete? I don’t think so. You’ll probably be thinking about how you wished you would have had more fun, spent more time with your family and enjoyed life more.
9. Embrace your inner geek. We’re all geeky about certain things. I admit that I’m a design geek. I can sit for hours obsessing over typefaces, color palates and white space. I seriously live for this stuff though, so it’s okay to obsess a little. The point is, when I design, draw, and write, I lose track of time. I embrace my inner geek and all I’m thinking about is what I’m doing. I’m not worrying about how it will turn out, I’m not thinking about the phone bill I need to pay. I’m just there. Think about what really makes you geek out. A good indicator is that it’s something you get super excited about that makes other people give you strange looks.
10. Be grateful. I’m certainly not the first one to say this. But it bears repeating. Every time I am in a rut or feeling sorry for myself, I try to remember to be grateful. Just being grateful to be alive is a powerful thing. You never know when you’re going to leave this world. You never know if you’ll have another chance to write that novel you have been meaning to, run that marathon or tell your lover how you feel about her.

Reassess your priorities. Are you living for today, or solely for the achievement of your next project? Do you stress out about what’s on your to-do list more than living in the moment? If you’re at all like me, you occasionally fall into this rut as well. We have to find a balance in achievement and contentment.

Making Lyfe Work

I attended a Poetry Fest in Columbus a few weeks ago and I remember this poet making a statement that kinda hit me a little deep. Although, it was all fun and laughter; this particular poet well lets just say, he was strangely interesting.

He made a statement, "Making Lyfe Work" just that simple. "Making Lyfe Work" and I thought about it and I suppose it really makes logical sense. Doesn't that sound simple enough?

You know how we kinda hope for the way we would like things to be? Well, instead of hoping: I suppose it's just time to work with what is right in front of you! That to me is "Making Lyfe Work".

I know that sometimes we feel like what we have in front of us doesn't look like much, but really it is a place to start. Starting somewhere and working with what we got, it's just that damn simple.

Just being real, we might not have it all together and we might not have all the answers and, if you're anything like me; I have made many mistakes and plenty of failures but I'm not going to let those things hinder me or bogg me down. Nope, not any more.

I know that my attitude in how I accept lyfe will reflect in my actions and it will reflect in a negative or positiv way. It's up to me and you to decide what attitude we want to take while we are "Making Lyfe Work".

What we sow today will be what we harvest tomorrow! Damn, I want to make sure I am sowing good seeds right now because tomorrow I need a good damn harvest coming back. So, There is no greater tyme to start then right now.

Just a question to thing about: What things in your life could you be working on right now and what kind of attitude are you relecting, while you're "Making Lyfe Work"?

And remember, When approaching lyfe, attitude is everything!