I Struggle

I'm faced tonight with staring at something inside me that hunts my being as a woman.

In a mirror I see two traits that we all need especially women and tonight, I'm being honest with myself. I struggle.

There are two traits within me that I struggle with and they are STRENGTH and VULUNERABILITY. I'm asking myself, "how can I master the two"? How can I maintain my femininity and my softness all awhile I'm feeling pushed up against a wall and forced to feel like I'm fighting? I Struggle.

As a woman working and maintaining monthly sales quotas, empowering and supporting other women, it just seems that I'm the one struggling to keep my strength and still maintain my vulunerability my softness without coming across as weak or controlling. I Struggle.

It just seems like if your too soft, men/people walk over you and then you're labeled as a doormat and you're viewed as weak. But, if you're too strong; then you're labeled as a domineering controlling Miss I'm Independent bitch. I Struggle.

If you're too nice then you get dogged out. If you're too hard then you're overlooked. Either way you loose and it's a struggle for me as a black woman to find that inner balance. I want so bad to be able to express my vulnerability and still keep my strength. I Struggle.

How as a woman do I balance the two: Strength vs Vulunerability. That's the question and I don't have the answers. I Struggle.