Open letter to self

Dear Self,

Hello there and how are you feeling tonight? Your laughter is so amazing. I love hearing you laugh.

Yea, you're right. I haven't written you in a while. I'm very sorry, I've been so busy lately and I know that's no excuse. You know I haven't been neglecting you, I just haven't sat down and taken tyme to write.

You seem to be doing quite well. I really think, this is the best I've ever seen you. You seem to carry a glow and I was told you been a ray of sunshine.

The closet told me, that you pick up the pounds you lost. Those pants said, yea girl; the booty is back! lol.

I heard from Diva's World and they said that you're doing well financially, spiritually and personally. Of course, we know it could be better. But, you know I like how you make the best of it and keep on being you.

The heart told me all about that certain someone and how he is just too divided. Pain told me, you wanted to give your all but he was way too divided and not ready for what you wanted and needed. That's really too bad.

Girl, Seems like you've moved past all that though. I'm sure it's been hard for you. Social City said, you been on a lot of people's minds lately. They said, since you moved on, men are buying, driving and flying to see you! My my, what a little social butterfly you've become. Isn't it a good feeling to be desired? You deserve it, so enjoy it.

But yea, vulnerability tells me: you still think about him? I know, I know you do. Five years is a long tyme to give of yourself and then forced to have to throw it all away. Dayuumm, I heard your heart say; I miss him. Wow.

I heard, he told you; how you inspired him to give to someone else. That really bothered you, didn't it? I know you wanted it for you. Just too bad he didn't feel the same and I know, you wanted him to give to you.

And The Dream. I know, that shoe dream. That really got to you too; didn't it? You mean, you really can feel him rubbing your shoe at night? No way! How can you feel him rubbing? Hmmm. Girl, you need to come off that trip.

As I come to a close. I just want to say to myself: some nights I can feel him rubbing my shoe and I ask: Why? Why, doesn't he want to be loved by me? I ask myself, if the desire is that strong; what keeps pooling him in another direction? Then, I snap back and remember what keeps him divided and pooled in another direction.

Well, I just wanted to share my feelings and I just wanted to say:

I feel him rubbing my shoe. I really do. And, I do miss him. Inspite of...