The Big "R"

I'm up late tonight. Feeling a lot of different emotions. My main emotion I'm kinda feeling is the big "R", REJECTION.

Have you ever felt rejected? It's not a good feeling, especially when you're rejected by someone you love. How do you deal with rejection? Do you say, fuck you? Do you feel sad and walk around like its the end of the world?

I don't really know or have the answer to the big feeling of the big "R". I mean it makes u feel small, worthless, insecure and unwanted. Is that how he wanted me to feel?

Whelp, here I am on the eve of his big day; feeling the big "R". Im sure he has it all planned out because that's the kind of man he is, he has a vision.

I'm sure he is putting the final touches and gathering up all his thoughts, energy and creativty for his big day tomorrow.

I just wanted to be that women that stood beside him and watched his dream/his vision become reality. I just wanted to be that women that was proud to say, there goes my baby and smile at him while he impacts others lives.

Just feeling a little envious that I'm not that special woman standing by his side.

I pray for him. I pray always for him. And tonight, I pray that his event is successful. I'm proud of him and I'm smiling just imagining... in spite of.

I'm goning to be excited for him anyway and I wish him all the best on his big day.